The Coaching Scam I Helped sell.

If a business is targeting a desperate customer base it’s probably a scam.

Remember this.

The initial agreement was that I would manage his social media, post his content, and recieve 50% of the money we made.

That only lasted until the money got good.

I’ve tried to write about this cohesively for at least a year, and I suppose my emotions (mostly spicy rage) kept getting in the way.

It’s not easy to admit that you did something wrong, or that goes against what you believe in.

It’s hard to admit you let someone take advantage of you under the guise of getting rich, but here we are. We are all capable falling for opportunities that are too good to be true, and this is my experience.

I worked as a content creator for a men’s health influencer and coach for about 7 years.

A childhood friend with a wacky, little idea.

It got real fuckin’ weird real quick.

Maybe it took a turn during covid, when all of the funky gurus started talking about the worth of their unvaxx’d sperm, maybe before, hard to tell.

It’s easy to miss those classic cult adjacent vibes when you’re in it. Our ability to normalize the abnormal, and straight up strange, is strong.

Charismatic leader ✓

Unusual extreme beliefs ✓

Exploitation of members ✓

I was never in the lifestyle, for what it’s worth, just trying to work less and make more after years of working retail to the point of wanting to rearrange my brains.

It all started as simple, modernized, ancient Chinese practices, and turned into alpha male, toxic masculinity garbage that Joe Rogen and Andrew Tate would probably mutually masturbate to while Elon watches from the corner cuck chair.

Yes, I am still feeling the whiplash. The experience has been one of the stranger endeavors I’ve been involved in.

I worked for someone who quickly conspiracy theoried himself from a stinky hippie I babysat on acid, to an out-of-touch millionaire with problematic views, pretending to be a health expert while taking shots of turpentine and borax, but simultaneously being terrified of flouride, seed oils, and deodorant.

There is not an ounce of exaggeration in that paragraph.

He and his wife are the kind of people that support RFK, but they probably have more in common with the brainworm.

I learned a lot of professional skills during this time.

Design, social media management, backend website maintenance, and content creation.

I learned it the wild way: with a vapid, self absorbed, narcissist con artist, who likes to remind everyone she has a degree in design, breathing down my neck and insulting every tiny detail.

I suppose I have thick skin and attention to detail now.

I did find out that my ADHD may be fake, and my asigmatism can probably be healed naturally when asking for reasonable accomodations such as bullet pointed lists instead of multiple, disorganized texts.

(these are real words said in videos or in personal conversations.)

We love a workspace that provides disability accomodations.

For years I ran their social media, acting as their voice. They decided that they could make millions online while not doing much aside from prostate massaging and yoni egg squeezing (WHY DO I KNOW THIS?), and never really being online.

Womp Womp. It worked. Fuck.

I faked my way throught meetings and masterclasses until I couldn’t.

This brings me to my ultimate hill I will die on.

Influencer culture, health coaches, and online self help/wellness courses are:

You guessed it!

Toxic as fuck ☠️

Problematic as fuck 😬

Fake as fuck 🙅🏻‍♂️

It’s one big culty MLM. A scam. A multi-million dollar industry of dishonest, dogshit people waiting to take your money.

The cult-scam-mlm-shit mess I worked for, was made possible by taking advantage of one huge, (or maybe micro) thing.

Men’s biggest insercurity.

Their dicks. And of course, being bad at sex.

Hold on to your tits and balls, clits and dicks, babes, because I’m fixin’ to drop a big bomb of ‘what the fuck’.

Ready?

If you don’t know anything about ancient Taoists practices, (hell I could, but wouldn’t, teach you at this point) they were into some wild theories and ideas. Real deep cuts. (And yes, sometimes I kink shame. I don’t give a shit, damn, or rat’s ass. Some of ya’ll deserve the Procession of Shame).

Lots of talk about yin and yang, kidney jing, and all that jazz, but primarily, the belief that semen is a man’s ‘lifeforce’, and shooting the baby gravy all willy nilly will lead to a myriad of issues, including, but not limited to:

premature aging 👴🏽

hair loss 👨🏼‍🦲

premature ejaculation 💦

erectile dysfunction 🍆

insecurities 😕

depression 😢

general depletion 💀

They believe that retaining semen, the seed, the LIFEFORCE, will lead to:

Increased attraction from women 💁🏻‍♀️

More money 💸

The ability to manifest whatever you want 🧘🏼‍♂️

Bigger dicks 🔥

Harder dicks 💣

Better working dicks 💥

Youthfullness 👼🏻

Health 💪🏼

DICKSSSSSSSS

If you’re thinking ‘damn these homies spend a lot of time thinking and talking about dicks’ you’re not wrong. It’s a whole lot of dick talk. And a bunch of incredibly detailed attention paid to the prostate.

The homo-eroticism of it all is quite curious.

Especially considering this whole scene is realatively icked out by queerness despite their love of ‘brotherhood’ and ‘masculine energy’…but that’s none of my buisiness though. 🐸🍵

Take a dive down r/SemenRetention (or don’t) and you’ll find men feeling suicidal over ‘breaking their streak’, and more absolutely bonkers shit.

It’s a hot mess, have fun. Don’t blame me for the headache you’re in for.

This is just the tip. (pun intended)

I could write a book.

What still just absolutely gets the fuck out of my entire goat, is the fact that these people got rich.

Extremely rich.

Millionaires.

This has further radicallized and solidified the fact that there are no ethical millionaires either. They all prey on someone to get what they have. But that’s a whole different rant I’ll save for another day.

What started as simple energy practices (there’s a reason that even yogis trigger me) turned into problematic, binary, sexist, homophobic, anti-vaxxer, red pill rhetoric.

When a bunch of insecure man children who call themselves Alphas (and consider non-toxic masculinity to be ‘people pleasing’) get together to talk about the power of their dicks and balls, it gets sexist and patriarchal.

What a surprise.

Put a bunch of dudes together to get hyped about their cocks and how they ‘deserve sex as a birthright’ and you get filth like that Telegram chat of 70k men talking about tips on how to rape women.

Yeah I compared the two, sue me babe. I’m sure a good portion of the Telegram Incels are part of your culture.

Men in these circles are problematic at best.

At their worst, they con thousands of people (primarily in modest and sheltered cultures/countries, who are absolutely terrified of being in a room with a woman) out of money they don’t have, into making them undeservedly wealthy.

They did this without a real guarantee of success and without peer reviewed proof of claims or a single ounce of scientific backing, and desperate men still, to this day, buy their content. A lot of them

The attention and money we give to influencers and coaching culture is mind melting.

Every click, view, share is cash in their hands. We control their bank accounts quite literally.

If you venture into women’s coaching and wellness spaces, it gets even worse.

The Boss Babes™️.

I might honestly hate them the most, but it’s biased and personal.

‘Babe, you can’t succeeed if you’re spending all your time in your masculine energy’.

These women prey on mothers.

They prey on insecure women.

Desperate women.

Poor women.

Remember!

If a business is targeting a desperate customer base it’s probably a scam.

They all give hard ‘why don’t you just stop being poor’ energy.

They like to say I can just manifest my way out of poverty and that’s offensive, insensitive, classist, and out of touch with reality.

Selling a lie is a con.

Selling unrealistic expectations is cruel and also a con.

The girlies make all the same content too. It’s boring and predictable. Sometimes 4 different boss babe biz baddies will post almost the exact same thing.

Almost word for word. It seems as though they don’t actually have the brain power to make genuine, interesting, or orginal content. 🤔🤔🤔

‘Queen, this simple tip 10x-ed my income while I was flying first class to whereverthefuck’, DM ‘vibrant wealth’ for the details. The world needs your medicine.’

They like to comment about whatever disaster is happening this week and somehow segway into promoting their scams and ‘proven systems’ that will get you ‘rich af quick’.

Tone deaf and predatory.

The real detached ones will even squeeze out some crocodile tears. I love when they do that.

#healer #womeninbiz #digitalnomad #spiritualentrepreneur #wealthywoman #healersofinstagram #6figurebusiness

‘In your mom era?…..this course is for YOU’

‘Only 3 spaces left & one week until the investment rises from $222 to $1111, get your 🍑 in here now babe.’

Bitch PLEASE and no thank you.

I hate that ‘aligned’, ‘mani-gen’, and ‘feminine energy’ are even part of my vernacular.

I have been trying to talk about this since I was fired (eh or I quit, it’s debatable) over a year ago.

I spent a long time wanting to take them down. Just full on raging and scheming, and that isn’t really helpful, although I’d still feel sick with joy seeing them lose everything. I never signed an NDA, so I mean, we’ll see what I feel like next week.

It’s been difficult to figure out exactly what my point of talking about this is.

Was it an eyecatching headline?

‘I WORKED FOR A SEX CULT’

‘DON’T TRUST THE WHITE GURU’

‘THE SILLY SEMEN SCAM YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T HEARD OF’.

I mean, sure, those would have gotten your attention, but there is a bigger problem that is deeper than my own rage agenda, and I think getting to the root of it all is a more worthwile use of my time and energy

So many influencers have narcissistic tendencies. Whole ass god complexes, that we all feed.

We click, we comment, we buy, we share. We idolize. We trust.

It’s such a weird time to be alive (obligatory fuck capitalism) and the internet feels like it’s imploding, shitty people are making money taking advantage of people, and we play into the scheme. AI is making it hard to tell reality from fiction, Meta is a shit mess, the Tiktok debate.

Why?

I think about it often. What’s wrong with us as a society? Why do we give these people our time and attention? Is it longing for connection, is it the desperate need for friendship and importance? Admiration? Jealousy? Did covid take us all over the edge, rendering us completely useless at making genuine connections?

Fuck. Maybe?

Behind your favorite influencer, is an exhausted and underapreciated team of people just like me who are polishing the turd, skewing the truth, and making everything perfectly branded and palatable for your consumption.

Influencers love to brag about their money. There’s a current trend of sharing payment notifications, and while that’s tacky as shit, what’s worse is that I can guarantee most of them don’t pay their team well.

Plus it’s all fake. Fake as fuck boi.

The internet isn’t real life. Even this blog is an edited, then re-edited twice, version of my thoughts in their Sunday’s best.

That’s the reality of the internet. We can curate and mask our real lives to be whatever we want you to see.

While I pride myself in my ability to keep it real with ya’ll, I still make it pretty for you and try to keep my ‘likes’, ‘literallys’ and ‘fucks’ under control.

That 20 minute youtube video from that influencer?

We edit out every awkward moment that made him sound like the bumbling dipshit he is, who has no idea what he’s talking about.

That perfect photo of the happy couple who brags about their millies and sex life?

We sift through 50 awkward shots to find one where they look like they actually like each other.

That perfectly branded and well written Instagram infographic carousel?

We made them at one point, now AI does that.

Influencer culture is as fake as it is problematic and nasty as fuck.

(I didn’t do a very good job keeping the ‘fucks’ under control, I’m no saint here.)

My biggest ick with influencer culture:

WE ARE DOING IT FOR THEM.

They don’t do this themselves, hell most of them hardly work at all.

That problematic, culty, out of touch content that I just shit-talked? Those courses and masterclasses that I said were scams?

I helped make one.

I edited the photos.

I typed the words.

I made the graphics.

I hit ‘post’.

Hell, some of it was shot in my house.

I made the recommendations to men for boron, selenium, magnesium, the ‘angion method’ and reverse kegels to fix their limp dicks.

Am I as guilty as they are?

I needed to eat, pay bills, live.

Am I as guilty as they are though?

This is one reason I took so long to talk about it. It’s also why I feel like I SHOULD talk about this.

Anyone could get sucked into a cult, MLM, scam, or just a funky ass business with questionable practices and tactics. Luckily I can now sniff if out, but at what cost?

Be mindful of to whom you give your attention, money, and thoughts. The internet is only going to get more weird going forward. (another fuck you to AI). Trust nothing.

Especially influencers who promise they can sell you a quick fix to all your problems.

I can almost 100% guarantee you that the 3k course that sounds too good to be true…is a scam.

Last time. If a business is targeting a desperate customer base it’s probably a scam.

If you have questions, I will answer them, but my typing hands are tired and my brain doesn’t want to spend any more time today thinking about them, their boners, lack of boners, or their millions they don’t deserve.

Enjoy your doom scrolling or whatever.