America You’re Freaking Me Out

I was a kid in the 90s in those kindergarten trailer parks pledging my allegiance to the flag of the greatest god damn country that ever was.

The only big test I scored high on was the one that warranted multiple calls from the war recruiters. Lucky me.

I considered joining when I was 17. Hell I’m poor, small town, white trash who thought college was my only route out of it all, and the army was my only route to college.

I never did go to college. Fuck it.

I pleadge allegiance to the people of the United States of America.

Fuck the fabric.

America has never been great if you aren’t a straight, white, man.

Me and mine know this.

I watched 8 hours of inauguration live streams yesterday so you didn’t have to.

I ate a lot of chocolate and drank a lot of rum and Rainier. I’m tired.

My takeaway?

God damn. America is probably dead, and maybe it deserves it.

If I’d had taken a shot every time someone said ‘Golden Age of America’, I would have died of alcohol poisoning.

The fun (not fun) thing here is…is that the definition of ‘Golden Age’ is

-an idyllic, often IMAGINARY, past time of peace, prosperity, and happiness.

That’s hopeful.

The indoor ‘parade’ was the normal weird pomp and circumstance with a little Duloc, Lord Farquaad fuckery vibes thrown into the mix.

But GOD DAMN why so much piccolo? Jesus H. Christ. Way too much ‘doot doot’. All that piccolo was too damn far for me.

Everyone doing the Trump Double Jerkoff dance was kinda funny, lowkey. No one can say white people don’t have culture from now on.

Miley’s dad looked and sounded like he’d been doing the shake and bake meth and drinking steelie 40s. (I’ve watched this clip like 30 times and it’s honestly getting me through.

It was all bad. Real bad. I guess it was a good metaphor for how the next 4 years (probably longer, my optimism is fleeting) will be. One big, steaming, pile of shit.

Elon came out of the nazi closet.

Are we shocked though?

Not only does he come from parents who owned an emerald mine in apartheid South Africa, he also calls his (I doubt he is autistic at all, personally) ASD aspherger’s.

FYI: For those of you who don’t know, the autistic community has stopped using this term as Hans Aspherger was a nazi fuck.

(from WIKI:

Edith Sheffer, a modern European history scholar, wrote in 2018 that Asperger cooperated with the Nazi regime, including sending children to the Am Spiegelgrund clinic which participated in the euthanasia program. According to Sheffer, Asperger supported the Nazi goal of eliminating children who could not fit in with the Volk : the Nazi ideal of a homogeneous Aryan people.)

So there’s that.

It was a wild ride.

Trump threw a bunch of pens into the crowd of chuckle fucks after signing a bunch of bullshit executive orders, including this hot garbage.

The Menzingers said it well

‘I’ve always felt like all their pomp and circumstance is just cover for the devil to dance. America, you’re freaking me out with all my anger I shout can’t you recognize truth from clever lies?’

It’s all bad and exhausting, and I don’t have much positivity, but we have to stick together and fight.

To my DACA recipient, immigrant, and undocumeted friends:

No human being is illegal, especially on stolen land. You belong here as much as any of us.

To my trans, non-binary, and queer friends:

We are loved, valued, and valid.

We belong here.

No one can erase us.

Gender and biological sex will always be different things and gender identiy will always be valid no matter what an unhinged narcissistic sociopath says.